Rethinking Childrearing

Most people believe that raising a child is a labour of love, though the dopamine bond that evolution evolved to keep a newborn alive long enough to survive in the wild usually dissapate when they reach the age of five. It is prudent to mention that in the case of a girl child, the male parent caring for her may need an intervention to restore his objectivity and regain independent autonomy over his agency. Let's face it, the older they get the creepier it gets for everyone else.

Whereas the majority of people I know think that they have a sworn duty towards their progeny or see raising them as a solmn duty or worse, think that they are responsible to instill in them a solid foundation that is rooted in tradition and good (Christian) values. The opposite is regrettably a reality that we can't deny, but since this article is about how we repair our delinquency I won't spend more time on the signs and symptoms but rather on how we can prevent the them from happening by raising them better.

Some people are under the impression that a child needs a good education. Some even think that a tertiary qualification is the only way they will ever find gainful employment without any regard for the wishes of young adults, and while college life was by far the best time in mine and millions of other young, irresponsible, hormone fuelled, cognitive impaired and impulse driven individuals together without supervision is a recipe for disaster, and a travesty given the wasted resources intended for providence but often only entrench prepuberty anomalies, or worse ends with termination of their studies due to unwanted pregnancies, bad habits, debt and responsibilities that they never would have agreed to, qualifications that is of little to no    avail, or in the majority of students enrolling for study amount to the first major failure they have to carry for the rest of their life. Setting them up for failure is probably not the intention of wards, but common sense and statiscal analysis show that young adults are impulsive, and high risk behaviour, substance abuse, and unwanted pregnancies are evaded by avoiding prepuberty pressure to choose a career and enrolling for studies well past neurocognitive maturity, or on avarage after the age 21.For all intents and purposes the opposite of our convention of supervision is called for with less growing up and more as they grow older, and the best way to counter the loss of rational ability, and contain the fallout of potential prodigies is to tire them out, keep them occupied, and wait for the rush of of puberty to pass. Giving them a licence and ample opportunity to mess up is inconsiderate, cruel and looking for trouble and ill considered.

As much as parents are complicit in the foibles, folly and misfortune of their brood growing up, so does peer pressure, expectations and social happenstance. Contrary to common knowledge healthy competition is a fallacy, success is invariably ill concieved, and happiness no more than a wish we all want, but none of us know how, why or where we may find some for our self, never mind our children. To make matter worse parents are often deluded by fads and trends, or convinced that proprietary methods and private tuition, or heaven forbid remedial or corrective behaviour interventions will remedy delinquency or bestow advantage, when their efforts are much better served by means that are age appropriate, foster age appropriate activity and encourage participation and freedom of association.  

While restructuring the education system to embrace the physical, cognitive, emotional and developmental changes that normal growth and development stages offer it is still up to us their parents to make the social changes that would afford the them best advantages possible. To thrive, prosper and procreate is taken care of curtsey of our evolutionary heratige. We are by our nature designed to adapt and prosper without providence, provided with a entity equipped with the latest upgrades, modcons and innovations available at the time our design specifications were encoded onto our genetic predecessors building on the successes and adaptations over countless of eons, uniquely equipped to make the most with the biosphere we share, to the benefit of everyone we share it with regardless of our lifestyle, circumstance, conviction culture creed or cast. It is for all intents and purpose counter productive to try and give our brood advantage above others as our nature is to find sense in mutual relevance. Pampering our progeny and spoiling our children is likely to do more harm than good, a fickle habit of convenience we choose not because it serves our needs, but to satisfy our proprietary urges and live up to expectation. Living life well is subject to the terms and conditions we can afford, vying for advantage and searching for reason and finding a vantage is seen as a means to be happy or feel sated and satisfied, we hoard treasure as proof, seek recognition and due reward, respect and trust what we have been told, we live our lives to appease our belief when we are much better of taking a leap of faith, satisfy our curiosity and follow a hunch or your nose in the persuit of fun, and would be much better off being present than planning for success, vying for advantage, searching for meaning or living up to someones else's idea of what to do to feel good.

And if that isn't reason enough for a rethink of traditional parenting styles and reconsidering our conventions about education, Anna privilege, heratidge and providence, then the evidence that show conclusive proof of interventions that can afford significant developmental advantage may be beyond belief but none the less real.